Monday, March 25, 2013

And Sometimes Parenting Hands You a Pair of Soiled Elmo Underwear

As many Facebook friends might know, I decided to take on potty training Sprocket this week. It is Spring Break and he has been showing a few signs of readiness. I was hesitant to wait till June because 1) I am sick of diapers and want at least a little break before Spark arrives and 2) In June I will be around 30 weeks which is where the defecation hit the fan last time and the pregnancy went downhill.

Plus, I read some books. They make it sound so easy and they mention that almost all kids were potty trained by 2 back in the '50s and this whole "readiness" thing is a bunch of BS perpetuated by diaper companies that want to keep selling you their products. All you have to do is put your kids in underwear and put them on the potty when caught in the act of peeing. They will soon pick up on it.

I borrowed a froggy potty from our neighbor, pre-washed 12 pairs of Sesame Street and Cars underwear, and hunkered down to get Sprocket on the potty. My efforts were returned with puddles on the carpet. For what is now going on three days. We have had two successes that feel more like flukes than habit, and our kid is officially obsessed with his penis. Wait. Scratch that. Our kid is officially obsessed with pulling on his penis and standing next to his potty yelling "I go potty. Tinkle. Tinkle." Apparently, that is his perception of how Daddy does it.

I'm Elmo and I know it.

Several times he has literally sat on the potty for 10-15 minutes, gotten up and put his underwear back on, and then promptly peed all over the carpet. To be honest, I am not sure that he even realizes that the pee is coming out of him. So, we tried naked today to see what happened and the kid just didn't go. At all. Held it for 3 hours. I think there is something comforting about having underwear on that makes him want to pee. Like a diaper.

The clean-up is not the exhausting part. The fact that I am "on" all day and have to be vigilant about watching him for signs of needing to use the potty. Oh, and the fact that the "potty bell" goes off every 10 minutes for a potty break. Oh, and the readddddding. The kid wants to read the same 3 books OVER and OVER and OVER while sitting on the potty every 10 minutes. The whole thing is exhausting.

Don't get me wrong -- if there was a glimmer of recognition in his eyes I would be all over this like urine on my carpet. But there is not. He doesn't seem to be making the connection. So, I trudge forward with no motivation except the distant promise of diaper free days and potty success.

The hardest part? Realizing that no matter how much I want him to achieve this...I have no control. Nothing I do is going to control those little sphincters of his. This one is all him. Kind of a hard reality for a control freak to swallow.

I won't lie -- I am on the verge of calling the whole thing off. I want to enjoy my time with Sprocket over spring break. I want him to be ready and find success. I want to be able to relax and go swimming and play with friends. I know in my heart that I will have these same feelings in June -- but, hey, that's like a million years away.

One more day?


Adrienne said...

I know what you are going through. We tried here and there to potty train C but she would always just pee wherever she was and could care less if she peed all over herself or the carpet. Didn't phase her one bit. We just waited until she was about 3 and then it just clicked. I'm dead serious. One day it was diapers all day the very next day it was no diapers at all, even through the night. She has actually only had a hand full of accidents over the last 6 months. It's been beautiful!

But every kid is different. I do believe that they reach a point when they are just ready. Not that you can't train them prior to that.

Good luck! ~Adrienne

magazeta said...

Hey, your brothers are 37 & 41 and they still pee on trees...JK...It will all work out!

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