Thursday, March 28, 2013

It's Complicated.

I have debated this post for the past few days. I started this blog as a way to motivate myself to run and document my fitness along the way to completing my first half marathon. However, over the years it has turned into a virtual scrapbook for events, milestones, shenanigans, and all the emotions that come with. When B and I are trying to figure out how many RAGBRAIs we have done, we turn to the blog. When I am feeling nostalgic and want to relive the joy (and scariness) of Sprocket's birth, we turn to the blog.

See? Shenanigans.
But, there is the realization that people I don't know read this. And, you know, it is a public space. Plus, I have had my students find my online presence before, so I always have to be prepared for that to happen.

At the end of the day, this blog has been an outlet for me. A little piece of the world that is mine to control. I discussed all the ups and downs of pregnancy with Sprocket and I have already started that process with Spark. So, here it goes.

We went for our 20 week ultrasound on Monday. Normally, we would go to the radiology department where a tech would take certain pics and forward them to the doctor. The tech isn't really allowed to say much about how things look and you have to wait for word from your doc. I, however, have a "High Risk" stamp in my file and get my 20 week ultrasound with a Maternal Fetal Specialist.

I have been feeling Spark for a while, so I knew things were going well. Dr. G put the wand on my belly and showed us the baby. Then, she said, "I am just going to measure your placenta real quick." After a couple pics, she put the wand down and asked B and I what we do for a living. We told her and she said, "good, I just like to know my audience." Red Flag. My placenta has implanted on the front of my uterus (this is called anterior) and was really low. Like almost over my cervix (within a cm). The doc explained that this meant that a vaginal birth (yeah, I said it) was probably out as an option. Then, she dropped the bomb. The placenta was directly attached to my c-section scar. In 30% of cases where this happens the placenta can actually grow into the muscular wall of the uterus. This is called Placenta Accreta and is really bad because when the baby comes out, the placenta can't detach from the lining like it should. This means lots of bleeding that could require blood transfusions. If they can't stop the bleeding, then they perform a hysterectomy right on the table.

The H word hung in the air. I blinked back tears.

She went on to explain that as the uterus stretches, the placenta might "move" off the scar and everything will be fine. We just won't know until we get another ultrasound in 8 weeks. Also, if it does stay on the scar, the docs won't truly know if it has grown into the uterus wall until they actually open me up and start the c-section. It could truly be an "on the table" decision.

We came into this pregnancy knowing that it would be our last -- but having something else make that decision is tough. Plus, there is the fact that I would have to be put under general anesthesia, which would mean I would miss the first few hours of my baby's life. Again. Oh yeah, and there is that whole hemorrhage and bleed to death risk as well. It is definitely complicated.

After a lot of discussion and googling, B and I came to terms with my status and decided that worrying too much now is wasted energy. We are just going to have to wait until 28 weeks to see what happens and then hope for the best. If it stays on my scar, then I have to go in knowing that the Big H is definitely an option.

For now. Every day is another day pregnant.

Oh -- and the baby is still an "it." It was face down in my uterus with its legs crossed. So, no accidental crotch shots (like I was hoping) and no cute face shots. Oh, well...I will HAPPILY wait another 20 weeks to see the little bugger.

And This.

He kept calling it a froggy.

Give a kid a pencil and he will perform a lobotomy.

There must be a Lego chromosome in all boys.


magazeta said...

You are all gonna be just fine....I just know you are! And as for Lego's....well it is time to pull his out now that we got him. Can't wait to see you all next month. Love, MOM

Heather said...

I can't think of anything worse than fear of future potential medical issues. My heart goes out to you. All will be well, all will be well.

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